J2: Things I learn in life...

As a young adult, I've come to realize that life can be explained and carefully analyzed when you look at your past experiences. Your trials and tribulations. Your successes and failures. Your childhood and teenage adolescence.  Past experiences open your eyes and you begin to piece together the ultimate puzzle. As you embark in your journey through adulthood, you begin to realize that the things you learn in life......

.....you learn from Super Mario Bros.

1. Dramatic growth spurts can occur as quick as eating magic mushrooms. The green ones give you life.
2. Italians have a very strong accent.
3. Turtles are your natural enemy. If you ever see one, kill it before it kills you first.
4. Plants eat people. Always.
5. If you skin a raccoon and wear it, you can fly.
6. Money comes from bricks. If you see them, punch them.
7. When you die, you have 2 more continues.
8. If I learn to play a flute, I can travel to different worlds that I've never seen before. 
9. If you eat flowers, fire comes out of your hands. 
10. Dinosaurs exist to this present day. And we can all ride them like horses.
11. My girlfriend always gets kidnapped. 7 out of 8 times, she's in another castle.
12. Some mushrooms can talk. Sometimes it gives me mushrooms to eat.
13. I can fight a wide array of inanimate objects such as cacti, bullets, giant bricks and cannon balls with razor sharp teeth.
14. Stars make you a crackhead - if you get one, you change color, become out of control and feel the need to kill everything on site.
15. If I get into a fight, I can pull vegetables out of the ground and throw it at everyone.
16. Ghosts cover their eyes when you look at them.
17. The next step in life can be obtained by fighting your boss.
18. I can swim underwater forever without the need to break the surface for air.
19. Your younger siblings get Luigi. 
20. Life as a plumber is as easy as hopping into pipes to get where I want to be..

Who would have thought of a game concept involving two Italian plumbers from Brooklyn, New York who venture off in a world with man eating plants, turtles, chain chomps and castles to save a Princess whom has been captured by a giant monster-turtle hybrid? All while eating magic mushrooms and riding multi-colored dinosaurs. If you really think about it, I'm pretty sure the creators were high off crack when they designed this. Thank you, Nintendo. 

One.