J2: Socially Awkward Moments

*Sigh* My life is a parade of missed chances and social misfires. Yet, I laugh at it. Ever run into those awkward moments you live on a day to day basis and quickly want to escape? I have. It sucks at that very moment but when you think about it in retrospect, it's hilarious and sometimes happens quite often. And I'm sure a lot of you have experienced one or two of these as well.

- You're at a grocery store and see an acquaintance and make small talk for a couple minutes, then part ways. Then 7 minutes later you see them in another aisle and you nod or waive in awkward silence. 

- You get off the bus/train with a friend and say "bye" and then end up walking the same way in complete silence.

- You walk out of a room/building holding the door for someone, only for them to use a different door or stop to answer their phone...and you're still holding the door.

- You dap and get a hand shake. Vice versa.

- Making fat jokes and no one laughs. Then you turn around and see a fat person right behind you.

- Telling long anecdotes you think are hilarious, to a group of people anticipatively waiting for the punchline  and then get little or no reaction.

- Saying "You too" to the ticket tellers after they greet you with "Enjoy your movie".

- You're in a long narrow hallway/path with no escape and seeing someone you know but barely talk to and you either look down and pretend not to see them or you stare at each other and wait until you're 2 feet in front of each other to say "Hi".

- You fall asleep on the bus/train, you dream and twitch as you wake up to everyone looking at you.

- A person walking beside you says "Hey how's it goin'?" You respond with "I'm good, how are you?" and you turn your head to see that he/she is on a Blue Tooth headset.

- A person you know, but really don't talk to, steps into the elevator so you pretend to talk on your phone. And it rings.

- You're walking in one direction realizing you need to go the opposite way, so you pretend to either check your watch or pull out your phone, turn around and walk the other direction.

- You drop a deuce in the restroom, flush, walk out to wash your hands and seeing a colleague at the sink next to you in complete silence.

- Someone greets you with "Hey, what's up?" and you respond with "Not bad, how are you?"

- You're sitting on a bench by yourself and you realize you have to leave and stranger sits next to you. You're then obligated to stay for a few minutes as to not appear that you're leaving because of them.

- Press the wrong floor button in a crowded elevator. You walk out that  floor to avoid embarrassment.

- Ring the stop bell too early on the bus. And you walk out anyway and trek to your house 6 blocks away to avoid embarrassment.

- You see a female acquaintance and upon greeting, can't decide whether to hug, shake hands or just say "Hi".

- You're office chair makes a fart sound and everyone hears, so you quietly try and repeat that sound.

- You see a guy at Canadian Tire with khakis and a red collared shirt. "Where can I find your paint?" ..... "I don't work here".

- You almost trip or stumble while walking. Then look back at the invisible object. Then look around to see if anyone is looking...they are looking.

- Co-worker calls you the wrong name. You don't correct him and he calls you that name for months until someone corrects him in front of you.

- Work luncheon at a restaurant with higher-ups and managers. Waiter takes your order first and you order a beer. Everyone else orders water.