J2: Part I - The Friend Zone Epiphany

There is a thin, fine line between a being realist and a cynic. I seem to be sitting on this line when it comes to shit like this, which for some random reason was the topic of discussion between a couple buddies and I one day. But really, who knows more about this than I do? I consider myself relatively smart, but at the same time can be hopelessly stupid. This helped me comprehend the fact that I am a spineless hack and a jacket for girls to put on when they felt they needed it. Then I came to a sudden realization. An epiphany, if you will.

What was it? I realized I was and still am in the cold, dark, soul-less, dreaded world alot of guys (and some girls) end up in various situations. Typically the 'nice guys', like me. It's a very common and infamous trap women set up to subconsciously place a dude in for an eternity of psychological mind fucks and cerebral enslavement.

Now, this concept exists and has been around for a long time. I just discovered that it applied to me in so many ways. I know this all too well. Why? Because I've been stuck in it more times than I'd like. I never realized how wrong I am going about this until it happens again and again. And it's time to learn my lesson and analyze it. Any poor sap can be tricked into falling into such an elusive trap and can be left there to have your soul sucked out by someone so cold and heartless. Trust me, fam.

Now, it doesn't apply to everyone, not every girl I've befriended or hung out with placed me in this socially awkward mess. But dealing with the ones that lead you on and stick you in this place to get what she wants, are grounds for immediate course of correctional action or warranting a big, flashing sign telling you to "GET OUT".

It starts off with a girl you may or may not like at first or maybe a friend you've known for awhile. Typically taken or have recently put herself back on the social craigslist of the dating society after a break up from a long time boyfriend. Now, when the girl doesn't/didn't get what she wanted from her boyfriend, she sets the stage by hunting and scouting for that one friend, that poor soul in the group that is most likely to cave in and do anything for her, buy anything for her and ultimately become a shoulder to cry on when her boyfriend tells her to "GTFO" or "STFU". Once your sackless bitch ass succomes to her needs, wants and her material desires, you will eventually hear "Thank you so much, you're so sweet! I Love you!" At which point, you might as well get out of the limbo your in, shoot yourself and wake the fuck up (nerdy Inception reference, hahaha). Because now, you've gotten sucked into something called the Friend Zone and have become an emotional doormat to soak up her whiney, selfish feet when she comes stomping on you with her requests and problems. Because remember, she doesn't want to be with you or spend time with you, but you're there at the drop of a hat when she needs you anyway.

"It's a Trap!" - Admiral Ackbar (Return of the Jedi) (Piling on the nerdy shit!)

In most parts of the animal kingdom and insect world, a female's prowess drags in male prey, suckers him into a mating ritual and then eats his insides shortly after or just straight up murks his ass and is left for dead. This is similar for humans, but it takes it's effect in the form of a lifetime of mental scarring.

1. She finds her clueless male friend. Sees him as a very nice, well rounded and put together dude and she thinks "Hmmm...this motherfucker will do just fine". She'll flirt with the male and mark her territory as a possible prospect for dating. And in turn, visible signs begin to surface that the male may be hopelessly interested in her. The male flirts back, asks her out maybe, or shows signs of serious interest. what happens next? Male gets rejected and the proverbial finger wad is waved in your face a la Dikembe Mutumbo. And so the mind fucking begins. That's probably the only fucking you're going to get from this girl from this point, so get used to it.

2. As this process continues, you will go through hell and high water to do things for her. You'll buy things for her and you're going to do what it takes to make her happy when her man can't, because you're a sap. She starts saying little phrases that may seem sutble and innocent but to me, it strikes a bright, red flag saying "Good God, you're in the Friend Zone, get the fuck out".

"ZOMG, I love you!"
"You're so cute."
"I wish my BF were more like you."
"blah blah blah, I'm having boyfriend issues."
"You're so sweet! Thank you so much!"
"Why can't most guys be like you?"

and the obvious "You're such a great friend to me."

Any of these and the like should instantly tell you that you're in the Zone. And once you're in the Zone, it is nearly impossible to get out and/or change. I fell victim to this because I refused to man up, and I don't realize it until it is too late. Now it's time to get out.

So grow a pair, you ghey.

Next: Part II - How to avoid it and how to get out.

No comments:

Post a Comment