"Yo Kobe, I'll see you in NBA Cha....nevermind."
In light of the Heat going to the Finals, I'll write about the element that got them there. I've noticed Lebron grow throughout his career from St. Vincent-St.Mary in Akron Ohio, to the rough and great times on the Cavs to taking his now-undeserved talents to South Beach, Miami. Throughout the years, I've seen players switch shoes and shoe companies, sign with teams, get tattoos, shatter records, do unbelievable things and accomplish incredible feats... and get Championships. For Lebron James, it's been something else these past 8 years. Have you ever noticed Lebron is still mortal? Dumb question, but although he has Superman talents on the hardwood, he still suffers the Kryptonite of insecurity. Let's take a close look at what I'm talking about:
Lebron in High School. As you can see here, he's young, almost famous, full of hair and full of potential, unaware he is about to be plagued by male pattern baldness.
Here's Lebron in 2003 below. As a rookie, he looks in the mirror and says "Goddamn, my forehead is huge, perhaps I could cover it with a thick ass headband".
Below in 2004, his Cav buddies start asking "Yo bro, what's with the headband pretty high?" Lebron is still in denial "Yeah, son, I got a big ass forehead".
2005. See that reluctant smile below? Pretending to be happy? That's him thinking "I thought I had grown a big ass head during the off season when my ego skyrocketed with my Nike Lebron line...turns out I'm losing my fucking hair...awe well, better jack up that headband."
2006. "Hmmmm...should I get a hair piece or...awe, fuck it, no one can tell...let's slide up my headband some more!" Here he is thinking "I wonder if anyone notices that I'm 4 years away from Dr. Phil?!"
2007 - 2010. You can't hide anymore, Lebron. Look at that shit. Relative to your eyebrow, that headband is at an acute angle of approximately 30 degrees. He looks so old, Delonte West should be calling him "dad", not the other way around.
And now, here he is in 2011. What...the ...fuck...is happening to that headband? Do you know why it flies off almost every fast break play? Because it's like this, below! That headband is over 45 degrees past his eyebrows. Seriously?! Everyone knows your balding, guy, wear that shit properly. "Hey, I think I'll let my sweat drop into my eyes and cover my face and I'll use the head band to cover the fact that I look 45 years old."
What's in store for 2012? I dunno, but I imagine some ridiculous shit like this...
Terrible Photoshop skills, but you get the idea.