J2 gets a ticket...Again

While my family was still enjoying the sunny weather in the Philippines, I flew home early to bask in the glories of work life and -30 degree days. Upon my arrival, I check the garage to see my car, all cleaned up and ready to go. Problem: it was messy out and I didn't want my car to get dirty...and I was out of gas. My parent's SUV was out of gas as well as my sister's Mazda 3 (doesn't anyone fill up around here?!). I check my other sister's car and find half a tank of gas. And my parents, being very great parents as always, cleaned my sister's car while she was in the Philippines with us.

Backstory: I left in November for my trip. My sisters left in mid-December and my parents left on Boxing Day. While my parents were still in Calgary, they took the liberty to clean my sisters car without her really knowing.

Anyway, since ALL the cars other than this one were low on gas and me, refusing to fill at the time (yeah, I'm a cheap fuck), I decided to take my sister's car for a few spins, and since she probably doesn't know her car is clean, I can jack it and return it and walk away a hero. The perfect crime.

It wasn't until 2 weeks later I get this piece of shit in the mail:

Oh and this note that came with it:

When I confronted my sister, trying to play dumb, saying it "wasn't me", she wouldn't have it. Here's why:

J2: "This wasn't me, this was probably you!" (please buy my lie)
Sister: "You stole my car and got that ticket, look at the date! I was still in the Philippines!"
J2: *blank look* 
Dad: *laughing* "...Ka tanga tanga." (he's calling me "very stupid")
Sister: "Pay that, it's $287!"
J2: *sigh*

Upon walking away, I hear this at the top of the stairs:

Sister: "Oh...and YOU OWE ME A CARWASH!"

Thanks, Karma, you fucking asshole. 

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